Today's lesson, Racism. If you see something written here that you’ve said or done, use it as an opportunity. Take it as a wake up call and make the decision to grow, change and be conscious of your own privilege. Remember, I am not a speaker for the entirety of a people. Use this blog as a reference tool, not as the one and only view on the topic.
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The word “Ally” is one that I am not fond of. I use it here on this blog and I use it to describe a certain group of people. Myself included. But I do so online only. I use the word here because it’s the easiest way to talk about this particular group of people without having to give some long drawn out description. If I say “Ally” you know what I’m talking about.
Much of the anger about and sometimes even toward allies comes from the idea that allies believe they deserve a parade. Saying that an ally is nothing more than a decent human being may very well be a slight over simplification. I’ve said it and I will likely continue to say it. None the less, it is a bit of an untruth. Being an ally often means that a person has to unlearn the only world they’ve ever known. This isn’t easy or common.
Here’s the problem, a while back I said that there were no “Faux” allies. I believe this whole heartily. If you have acted against the very group you claim your ally status for, you are not an ally. Most self proclaimed allies are naught.
The interesting thing about those that get upset about being told that allies don’t deserve a parade is that, as soon as you get upset, I and most everyone else, know that you are not an ally. Not just because of the hissy fit you’re throwing but because allies get parades all the time. Here’s the catch. You have to earn your parade. The parade doesn’t come because you’ve never been caught fucking up. The parade comes when you’ve proven yourself an ally. When you’ve been given the proverbial “Pass” from the community. NOT the “Ally” community but the community you are claiming to be an ally for.
This isn’t something that is often discussed during conversations about allies. Mainly because it’s not a punch card. There isn’t a secret number of times you have to stand up for what is right in order to get this “Parade.” The parade does exist though. As much as people talk about allies being basic human beings, when we find an ally, we are grateful. They know. They always know. They get kudos from us on a regular basis. Do you know why you don’t know about those kudos? Because they don’t have anything to prove to you. They don’t NEED the parade or a badge. They are allies. In every sense of the word.
The moment you complain about not getting the praise that you think you deserve for, yes, being a decent human being, there is one thing I know for sure. You are no ally. An ally wouldn’t even WANT the attention. I know that you aren’t an ally because an ally DOES get love and affection from those within the community. An ally wouldn’t be the least bit concerned about the posts about how allies don’t deserve any praise. They know, as do I, that when we find someone who really is there for us, we love them and we love them hard. Your anger just tells me that you have never been confused for an ally. You are simply looking to wear the shiny Ally pin. Well, until next season’s fashion come in.