Today's lesson, Racism. If you see something written here that you’ve said or done, use it as an opportunity. Take it as a wake up call and make the decision to grow, change and be conscious of your own privilege. Remember, I am not a speaker for the entirety of a people.
I had to take a couple days off after Thursday night’s bigot parade. It was late. Well into Friday morning. I was frustrated, annoyed, slightly angry and exhausted. I needed to take a step back and think about what I wanted to say because I knew that if I made a post at that moment, there were going to be some hurt feelings.
The bulk of the bigot brigade decided that I was wrong for being a Social Justice Blogger but couldn’t exactly tell me why. They knew that my blog was doing horrible things but they hadn’t actually seen it. They knew that my writing was making the world worse but they hadn’t actually read it. They knew I was racist but they couldn’t quite pinpoint, ya know, anything racist. They decided that if I put an apostrophe where it didn’t belong, it was proof that I was an “Illiterate prick with their head to far up their ass and a self-riotous moron.” (No joke) There were three quotes that pretty much sums up the thinking of the entire pro-bigot blogging community. They all came from my last exchange. If you ever have a snack and 5 hours to kill, you should read it! (Here)
“It’s because we’re the guys making a difference by taking our message to the actual racists instead of sitting around whining and bitching and throwing shit but really just pandering to their own fanbase and preaching to their own choir.” (Yes, this is exactly what you think. The only “Actual racists” this person can find are social justice bloggers.)
“Man, I’d love to tear apart some white racists but I can’t seem to find any under all the people like you.”
“Riley’s blog was “dumb things white people say”. Could you please explain how that’s not social justice?” (This was the third time and the third person who brought up Riley’s name out of the blue. All three used Rileys name as justification for hating Social Justice. Two of the three used Riley’s name as justification for hating me personally.)
I never went back to the pages of the people who were doing the attacking. I knew that if they’d said anything else, I wouldn’t be able to stop myself from replying again.
I decided that I would no longer engage with pro-bigot bloggers. Before, I’d taken short breaks or long hiatuses from dealing with them. This time, I’ll have to put it to bed for good. Maybe I’ll throw out a link or two if I can provide one that makes the point without doing any extra talking on my part but otherwise, I’m done with that.
No, it wasn’t the bigots who lead me to this conclusion. Finding out that bigots hated you based on who you were even though they had no idea who you were? That’s damn near the definition of a bigot. No, there was nothing surprising that came out of any of them.
When I said my last word and was preparing to log out, I decided to check to see if I had any mail before I left for the night. There was lots of mail. For now, I would like to talk about 10 pieces specifically. Ten different people decided that I should either fight with them or for them. Ten people sent me fan mails, all with links included to people they decided that I should go “Handle.” Yep! During this long drawn out bigot brigade, where I was fighting people who just woke up one day and decided that I was horrible ‘cause social justice and stuff, this was the time that ten people who follow me decided that I should ALSO go fight with/for them too.
Watching me get attacked, watching me get frustrated, watching me have to shut down the high level of ignorance that was flowing my way made ten different people think, “Yeah, go do that to this person/group that I don’t like too.” I was fighting, so I must LIKE fighting, right? I was fighting, so I must WANT to fight, right? I was fighting, so heaping a little more fight on my shoulders shouldn’t be a big deal, right?
Let’s break this down by numbers:
That’s what it comes down to, isn’t it? All the posts that are written about Black women doing the grunt work only to have people feel ENTITLED to ask them to do theirs to. I wish I could say this is the first time this has happened. I wish I could say this was even the second time this has happened. This is pretty normal. It happens this way every time. Only, there have never been this many. Let me let you in on a little secret, I mop the floor because it’s dirty, not because I enjoy mopping floors. I’ve come to the conclusion that fighting bigots leads people to believe that they can throw more bigots at me to fight. I am not, nor do I ever want to be the Negress Bigot Slayer. (Although, hey! Halloween costume, maybe?)
To the ten, don’t message me to explain why you asked. Don’t message me to tell me that you didn’t mean to add to the already long day. Don’t tell me anything. Frankly, it took three days for me to get to a place where I could write this without adding your names with links to your blogs and cussing each and every one of you out. I don’t want to hear from you. I don’t want to hear your side.
Isn’t it interesting that after ALL of this, it was still YOUR feelings that I was considering?