Racism 101: Are you a Racist?

The answer to this is two fold. First, there are three implications in this question. A) That the person you’re speaking to has NEVER tried to be nice BEFORE. B) That this person hasn’t watched OTHER’S try to be “Nice” only to have their “Niceness” confused for weakness and ultimately been stepped on and/or stepped over. C) That the reason you are racist in the first place is because a group of people weren’t “Nice” to you. If lack of “Nice” didn’t cause your racism, is it reasonable for you to demand that it be the cure?

Second, it implies that you are owed a specific reaction, tone or attention that you, and only you, have previously approved of. For example, had you started your question with “If you can’t answer this nicely, please don’t answer it at all.” I am almost certain that in most cases, your question just won’t be answered. 

Know why?

It’s because you are coming into someone else’s space and demanding their time, patience, education and yes, their love. You may think that this isn’t what you are doing but in fact, by asking, nay, demanding that a person speak to you in a “Nice” way, you have stated that you are more valuable. Your feelings are more valuable than theirs. Your time is more valuable than theirs. Your emotions are more valuable than theirs and finally, your affection is more valuable in theirs.

I realize that comprehension is not the strongest for some of the people that may read this. For you, the folks who are hard of hearing, I will explain those last five points to you in more detail.

You have stated that you are more valuable. 

• By setting the demands, you have put yourself in a place of power. When in discourse with another person, it should and NEEDS to be a consensus of how the discussion moves forward. You alone, do not get to decide.

Your feelings are more valuable than theirs. 

• You demand “Nice” when so often, your question, even though laced with socially acceptable words is full of hate bait, innuendo and blatant bigotry. Yet, you didn’t call anyone a c*nt so somehow, in your mind, YOU are the “Nice” one. The “Rational” one. No. It doesn’t work that way. Nice wording does not necessarily equal nice meaning and/or intent.

Your time is more valuable than theirs. 

• You set the meeting when you asked the question. When you enter someone else’s space with a question, it is YOU, not them who set the time on that question. At best, they may choose to ignore the question or even put it off until later. However, the answering of that question, even if only answered with a gif, is time that you have taken FROM them.

Your emotions are more valuable than theirs. 

• By demanding “Nice” you are plainly stating that YOUR emotions trump theirs. Your “Nice” words, which often tend to be on the extremely cruel side even though you haven’t called anyone a slur, are commonly used as weapons of emotional destruction. However, you demand that they take precious care with YOUR emotions while you step on theirs.  You may not have “Asked” for them to be mean to you but tell me, when did THEY ask YOU to show up with a question?

Your affection is more valuable than theirs.

• This last part is where many of you will have gotten confused. You don’t get that when you demand that someone holds your emotions, feelings and self worth ABOVE THEIR OWN that you are asking them to care for you, to show more concern for you, to LOVE you more than they love themselves. 

You do NOT get to ask for or DEMAND these things. If there is concern over HOW your question will be answered, it is best that YOU find someone you deem more “Kind” to answer it in the first place. Which brings me to YOUR real issue. You aren’t interested in getting your question answered. There ARE people who are willing to answer questions in the way YOU see fit. The problem is, you would have to LOOK for them. You would have to do RESEARCH to find them. Mind you, many people have shown up on my very own dash offering to take on questions people may have but alas, it is NOT kindness you seek. It is power and assertion. You WANT to insert your bigotry and demands onto others. Then blame THEM for YOUR bigoted existence. THAT is your true reasoning for this faux innocent demand.